By Certified Action Coach Dave Beam
Listening. Most people think that they do it well. Most people really don’t do it well at all. And if you want to have influence as a leader, it is essential.
Listening to understand is one of the most powerful ways to express respect for another human being. You are giving your attention and care to someone else. You are setting aside YOUR opinions, judgments, reactions, and conclusions, and engaging your mental energy for one purpose, to understand that person.
How do you feel towards someone who totally focuses their care and attention on you? If that person is your leader (like a supervisor, parent, business owner, or business partner), what is the effect if they regularly listen and have a sincere desire to know how you are doing? I think most of us would say it engenders respect and gratitude and a desire to work with them. If you want your team to respect and follow you, it is essential that you make it a priority to listen to them.
Some business managers and owners tell me that you can’t be close to your people and also be an effective leader. I find that to be an interesting belief. This approach has some credence if you want to lead from a place of command and control. If you want to rule over people, and you want them to view you primarily as a person of authority over them, you should probably keep your distance. This style also carries the belief “They don’t have to like me, they just have to respect me.”
In my experience, those who try to run a business with this approach have some challenges. Typically you will find a high employee turnover, mediocre morale at best, and only a few good performers on the team. It is an old school “top down” management style. The only real listening that is needed is for the troops to hear and obey the commander. Though this style may be appropriate for the military, it does not cultivate creativity, encourage risk taking, and stimulate the innovation needed to thrive in business today.
I have experienced and helped create a much different culture in many businesses. It is a workplace characterized by high mutual respect, listening and open communication. Everyone’s ideas and input are encouraged and appreciated, and good listening is essential. Order and organization are still defined and clear, but more functional and less authoritative. Innovation and creativity are encouraged. Relationships are esteemed, and team members do come to know and appreciate one another on a personal level. When you intentionally treat people with this level of appreciation, care, and respect you bring out their very best. You get the participation of the whole person. You build a team that works with a deep care and synergy for each other and for the customers they serve. There is a fulfillment and purpose in the work, and the workplace becomes a place to look forward to instead of a place to “put in your time and leave as soon as possible”.
And it all begins with a change of leadership. You as a leader must listen, respect, and appreciate each team member. Accountability becomes a welcomed component of that listening and respect. Top performers want to fulfill their role and responsibilities, continually improve and know how they are doing. Regular and frequent communication become commonplace and listening is essential.
It is possible to have a great team working with and for you and the key is leadership.
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