How to Be a Positive Influence in Other’s Lives - Part 3

By Certified Action Coach Dave Beam

We have been considering how to increase our influence in others lives.  We initially focused on the fact that to increase our influence we must focus our efforts on the things that we can truly change and stop wasting our mental energy worrying about things that fall only into our “circle of concern.” Following this paradigm, the one area over which we have the most control is ourselves. Hence, we must become better leaders and improve ourselves first if we ever wish to affect others. The first topic we considered was practicing good listening skills which help build a high mutual respect. Today we are looking at another quality of effective leadership, consistency.

Consistency is just an outward expression of integrity.  A person of integrity is single, not divided.  What they say is what they do – consistently.  You can depend on their word.  You can be confident that if they have made a commitment, it will be kept.  In an old-fashioned phrase, their word is their bond.  Because you know who they are, you feel comfortable following them. 

Think about someone who is inconsistent.  Sometimes they come on time, sometimes not.  Sometimes they meet their obligations and commitments, and sometimes not.  You are not really sure who they are.  They tell you one thing, but it doesn’t always turn out that way.  They leave you with an uncomfortable and uneasy feeling.  Basically, there is a low level of trust.  People don’t follow people they don’t trust.

So here is your coaching challenge.  Be brutally honest with yourself as I ask you these questions.  Do you always show up for your appointments and meetings on time?  Do you consistently follow-up with every employee, customer, family member, and friend?  Do you keep all of your promises and commitments to others?  Can people depend 100% on your word?  Do you always quickly notify someone when you cannot meet a commitment, attend a scheduled meeting, return a call or e-mail quickly, or respond to a request, and apologize and reset the schedule or meeting?  How about the commitments that you make to yourself?

If you cannot answer all of these questions with a resounding yes, then you have a great opportunity to CHANGE and become a better leader.  Choose the areas where you are weak, and find someone (like a coach) who really cares about your success, and ask them to hold you accountable to changing these bad habits.  You will be amazed and pleased at the response when you make these changes.

The bottom line is that people follow people those they trust and they trust those who are consistent.