The Joy of Discipline

By Certified Action Coach Dave Beam

I hope the title of this article caught your attention.  My guess is that many readers don’t typically put joy and discipline together.  I really think all of us could use a shift of thinking so that these two concepts are joined in our minds.

When you hear or read the word “discipline”, what comes to mind?  For many, it’s forcing yourself do all of the stuff that you really hate because you “should” do it, or “shouldn’t” do that; it is motivated by the feelings of guilt, compulsion, and condemnation.  Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t jump out of bed in the morning ready to jump into a lot of activity that I “have to do”, and that “I’d better do” and “shame on me if I don’t do”.  Who among us pursues such misery and pain consistently?

One key to replacing habits is changing the emotions and feelings that accompany the concept of discipline.  Discipline is nothing more that the use of habit.  You are a habitual creature.  There are habitual things that you do almost every day.  Here are some of mine:  I brush my teeth every day, I shower every day, I put on socks every day.  I get out of bed every day.  I go to bed every day.  I put my right shoe on before my left shoe every day, and I tie those shoes every day, sometimes more than once!  Do you get the point?  Within the last three months, I have also started to exercise 20 minutes every morning, eat oatmeal every morning, and read my Bible every day.  Just like putting on my socks.  And I’m loving it!

So if you are with me, a key to “discipline” is replacing habits that don’t serve me and my purpose and happiness with habits that do serve me and my purpose and happiness.  My relatively new morning routine is one of the highlights of my day.  I actually enjoy walking, reading, and praying every morning.  When I get out of bed, I look forward to beginning my day with that focused time of personal preparation.  If I don’t do it (and I have missed a day here or there in the past three months) I really miss it.  It’s uncomfortable and I can’t wait to resume the practice.

So if you have some habits that you would like to drop, and some new ones you would like to establish, here are some practical suggestions:

1. Don’t just try to break a bad habit.  What you resist will persist.  That “bad” habit in some sort of sick way serves you – or at least you think or believe that.  Instead of yanking it out of your life, and leaving a big empty hole, you need to squeeze it out of your life by replacing it with something better!  You will embrace positive change and gaining something good vs. losing something and having something taken away.  I love to drink water.  It is my beverage of choice.  It is fast replacing all sugar drinks.  One of my new habits is to drink water every day, not to stop drinking soda.  If I drink enough water, there won’t be any room for soda.  I think you get the idea.  Find a great replacement for any habit you want to drop.

2.  Get clear on the bigger purpose for your change of habit.  It is learning to live for ultimate purpose and happiness, not always immediate gratification and pleasure.  It is deferring the desire for an immediate feeling for a much better ultimate satisfaction.  It is living a life directed by purpose and thought.  It is reprogramming my emotions to respond positively to what I really want, which sometimes is a deference of immediate gratification.  However, being disciplined is not contrary to feeling good now.  There are great feelings that go with the pursuit of a bigger purpose and goal. 

3.  Find other people in your life that will encourage you in your change of habit and support you in your ultimate purpose and goals.  Positive accountability is one of the best ways to accelerate your change and keep it going.  Choose to be with people that inspire and motivate you. 

The fact is that a life of discipline is really a life of joy.  Inner peace and satisfaction are the emotions that come when you have self-control and direction.  True freedom exists in the context of routine.  This is NOT a HAVE TO, but a WANT TO.  I choose to discipline my life because it enables me to fulfill my purpose and passion.  I choose the discomfort of discipline over the pain of regret.  I choose to defer momentary pleasure for ultimate happiness.  You don’t HAVE to change.  But if you WANT to change, go for it, and by all means, CHOOSE to enjoy the process!  If you like it you’ll keep doing it!!!