Dropping Expectations and Creating Agreements – Effective Delegation Part II

By Action Coach Dave Beam

One of the most powerful distinctions that will help you effectively delegate is the distinction between expectations and agreements.  I am indebted to business coach Steve Chandler for teaching me this powerful concept.

Business owners and managers are often frustrated because the team often falls short of their expectations.  You expect them to show up on time.  You expect them to follow through.  You expect them to go that extra mile and bring some new ideas to the meeting.  I am certain that if I interviewed your team members, they would have their own expectations as well. 

Unmet expectations produce disappointment.
  Trying to meet other’s expectations is often frustrating and can make a person feel like a little child.  Expectations are stories that we make up.  Because they are clear to us, we assume that they are clear to others.  Expectations without effective communication lead to disaster.

To create an effective agreement, the team needs to lay all of their expectations on the table.  Then you can create an agreement that everyone can honor.  Trying to meet expectations is draining and laborious. Creating and honoring agreements is fun and energizing.  People resist trying to meet other’s expectations, but gladly honor their own agreements.  Creating agreements also stimulates full ownership and buy-in of the team.

I will use one simple example that illustrates the problem with expectations.  Suppose you want to establish a regular team meeting.  You mention to John, Susie and Jack that you want to start getting together the first thing Monday morning.  Monday rolls around and you come in a little early to prepare your agenda.  You are all excited and ready for a great team huddle.  It’s 8:00 AM. Susie is there, Jack is getting his coffee and catching up on weekend football scores with Jerry, and John is nowhere to be found.  Why even try!?!  Doesn’t anyone care about the business and what needs to get done!?! 

The problem is you had no clear agreement, but instead have unmet expectations.  Your team members have their own expectations as well.  Susie was ready to go five minutes early.  She’s frustrated and really didn’t expect this to work anyway.  John had to drop his son off at school, and arrived at ten after eight.  He expected everyone to understand his situation.  Jack was at the office before 8:00, but he just wanted to get a little coffee and socialize first. He just expects you understand that being social and laid back is the best way to work together. 

When there is a lack of communication, then everyone believes their own story formulated from their own beliefs and expectations.  Creating agreements is about establishing a shared goal and a clear commitment to a written plan of action.  Asking great open-ended questions and listening are the tools that create agreements.  Documented agreements minimize expectations and can even be signed by every involved team member to affirm their commitment. 

So assemble your team.  Ask them to share their expectations, and then share yours.  Establish a clear outcome, and then create and commit to a winning agreement.  It is a challenge, but well worth it!